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More Hilarious Humor




Rude Jokes
Blonde Joke
Funny Jokes

Very Funny Really Short Dirty Jokes Free Joke UK
Have a good laugh at our short
selection of rude jokes below! It can lighten the mood or enhance a good day. Why not share with a friend or partner who loves a really dirty joke:-)

We can't see them getting mad at you!
Who doesn't enjoy some very funny rude humour for free now and again?

  Joke 1

A married couple both lost their jobs at the broom factory,
and were having a hard time finding new jobs. Unfortunately,
their mounting credit card debt required some immediate income.
The wife suggested that she could whore herself out, but her husband was a little less than thrilled about the prospect. But financial necessities got the best of her, and she went behind her husband's back to go whoring. She came back one night with a huge wad of cash, and fessed up to her hubby. He was upset, but asked how much she made. "$398.10," she said. "Who paid ten cents?" he asked. "Everybody." 



  Joke 2

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question.
As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast.
They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says,
"Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436."

  Joke 3

A man who just got a raise decides to buy a new scope for his rifle.
He goes to a rifle shop, and asks the clerk to show him a scope.
The clerk takes out a scope, and says to the man, "This scope is so good, you can see my house all the way up on that hill." The man takes a look through the scope, and starts laughing. "What's so funny?" asks the clerk. "I see a naked man and a naked woman running around in the house." the man replies. The clerk grabs the scope from the man, and looks at his house. Then he hands two bullets to the man and says, "Here are two bullets, I'll give you this scope for nothing if you take these two bullets, shoot my wife's
head off and shoot the guy's dick off." The man takes another look through the scope and says, "You know what? I think I can do that with one shot!"



  Joke 4

Three Boy Scouts, a lawyer, a priest, and a pilot are in a plane that
is about to crash. The pilot says "Well, we only have 3 parachutes, let's give them to the 3 Boy Scouts. They are young and have their whole lives in front of them" The lawyer says "Fuck the Boy Scouts!"
The priest says, "Do we have time?"

  Joke 5

A kid comes home from school and says to his mom, "Mom I've got a problem." She says "Tell me." He tells her that the boys at school are using 2 words he doesn't understand. She asks him what they are. He says "well, pussy and bitch". She says "Oh That's no big deal, pussy is a cat like our little Mittens, and bitch is a female dog like our Sandy." He thanks her and goes to visit dad in the workshop in the basement. He says to his dad, "Dad the boys at school are using words I don't know, and I asked mom and I don't think she told me the exact meaning. Dad says "Son, I told you never to go to mom with these matters, she can't handle them. What are the words?" He tells him...pussy and bitch.
Dad says "OK" and pulls a Playboy down from the shelf, takes a marker and circles the pubic area of the centerfold and says, "son, everything inside this circle, is pussy." "OK dad, so what's a bitch?"
"Son" he says, "everything outside that circle."

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